A Confession

There’s a confession I have to make!

Since that September 1st 2020 date, binning (metaphorically, I still have them in the cupboard) my Desogestrel, or PoP mini-pill, we’ve been “not not trying” for pregnancy.

In the instagram/blogging world this is called TTC, or Trying to Conceive. There’s a ton of abbreviations used on internet forums, and I’ve secretly joined a few – including Instagram! I’m not sure I’m ready to share it yet, but my secret ‘gram will be open to all to view eventually I assure you, documenting a fun-filled, confusing, crazy and sometimes concerning TTC story.

What does this mean?

Well, J and I have been not using any protection whatsoever since September, in the hope that eventually, naturally, I will conceive our first child at the ripe old age of 27. That, to me, is older than I would have liked to have been, but life happens.

Not having a soulmate to create a family with was a big hurdle to having children, so of course I’m thrilled to have got to this point! Some people take a month, some 3, some 6 and some up to a year to conceive with no problems with their reproductive system. Any longer than a year and your doctor wants to know, so they can investigate why in case there’s an easy fix.

Isn’t it mad that we were always told how risky unprotected sex would be?

I asked J many times when could we try for children, he always said soon. He told me he’d replace my pill with tic tacs when he was ready, so I would know without him having to say it. And guess what? September came along and there they were… tic tacs in my pill box!

The tears I cried (internally and externally), the hugs, the “are you sure????” questions and I was a mess. He was ready! He wanted kids with ME! We were moving house soon and we would be making a family. It was perfect!

My protocol has been this: taking Pregnacare Original since even before day 1 off of contraception, Folic Acid and Vitamin D (amongst other vitamins) firmly nourishing my body ready for conception. I had inquired to my cardiologist at LHCH about having children, and doing so whilst on Bisoprolol – a drug which reduces your heart rate and adrenaline levels and can do so to any foetus inside of you – but he dismissed this as vital to my health, and explained he had seen many patients on the same who gave birth to healthy babies. A small minority of which had smaller babies, possibly due to the drug, an effect that did not harm them.

I’ve been diligently reading up on a few pregnancy and pre-conception articles online, minding my own business, when suddenly I found the brilliant TTC community of women on Instagram. After a few false starts trying to get Instagram to work, I created my own, anonymous, account. I’m not sure yet when to share that here, I’m going to say no for now as I am loving the anonymity. It helps to ask weird and icky questions when nobody knows who you are elsewhere on the ‘net!

Here are some of my favourite TTC accounts to follow on there though, specifically UK based as this was what I wanted to see mostly. Some are doing IVF, some ICSI, some have PCOS or Endometriosis, some are naturally conceiving and some have already conceived!

1stlove_thenmarriage_ttc, mumof1tryingfor2, journey.to.fertility, trying_for_babya, and mypregnancy_uk. I would highly recommend looking at these Instagram pages and seeing who they also follow and the groups and sub-groups that surround them. The hashtags are the best way of finding similar accounts!

As for my own journey, it has been a strange one. Trust me when I say this – I did not expect this to happen.

I want to talk about it on this blog because this space is for me to vent, and although I hummed and wasn’t sure what to confess here, I genuinely enjoy documenting things happening in my life. So much so I made that Instagram account!

So I decided, why not? Why not open up a little?

This is me doing just that. Talking TTC on the internet is easy, talking TTC in real life is awkward – at least to me. So if you know me, don’t expect any conversations to involve it anytime soon.

As for us internet dwellers, ask questions and I’ll answer as truthfully as I can, I promise. I’ve now opened a new category on this blog – Pregnancy/TTC.

Published by Sharnie

Student biologist, aspiring embryologist, blogger and animal lover.

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