If you’re anything like me, having a family was pretty high on my priority list, and part of that was having my name (or my partner’s name) changed so we all had the same surname.
I’m a little obsessed with names and surnames, from playing WoW and The Sims for years, searching name databases for inspiring and interesting names, to using Random Name Generator online just to fill the blank space in a character screen – it’s a LOVE of etymology (the origin of words).
Weirdly, I used to spend hours choosing names for characters in games, as if they mattered really in the grand scheme of things, but it always kept me entertained to see a decent name above my head in WoW instead of ‘bootlicker’ or ‘epiicpvpmasterr’ (including the misspellings, I EXTREMELY dislike that).
I always imagined I’d end up with a punk-ass, cool-as-frick surname like Ravenholme or Greenwood. Something edgy, hippy, or that sounded super posh because it was long and seemed pretty steeped in history or something. I wanted that.
Well, this didn’t happen, and I haven’t actually lost my surname as I assumed I would upon marriage, because J and I are not getting married! Instead we have now, officially changed our names legally to something slightly more… normal.
We are double-barrelled now which is super cool! And like I said in my previous post on name changes, I’m not disclosing it here, but I’m so pleased. It still sounds posh! 😉
Hilariously, this signing of the documentation to change our names happened on April 1st, or April Fool’s Day, and I thought it would be HILARIOUS to change my name that evening on Facebook, to a chorus of “Is this a joke lol” or “omg what” and then I can laugh to myself and leave them to wonder.
Annoyingly, Facebook did not generate a “share this” like it does with relationship changes or employment, so you can surreptitiously share without making your own announcement and seeming like you want attention (just me who thinks this?). So I didn’t get that minor joy.
I also anticipated that J would be a little reluctant to change his online so soon, because although I was elated and excited to do so ASAP, I thought he would be apprehensive of all the questions. Especially because his name change was returning to his birth surname, then combining, not simply tacking on my surname to his current one.
Thankfully, he was not like this at all, and only took a few hours later to change his. He made no announcement either, but when talking in group chats did get questioned by friends – I haven’t had a single one yet!
Maybe I thought men would find changing name harder? I certainly knew as a teenager I’d probably change my name (but also knew I had a choice in this of course) so it isn’t a weird or strange thing to happen to me. But for J I believed it may be a little anxiety-inducing when he has to explain not only that he took my name partly (which shouldn’t matter but sometimes people do seem to care, “Oooh, very feminist” – shut up!) but also why he hasn’t got the surname in it that he’s had for years.
I can see now it was a silly thing to assume, as he was sweetly calling me by our new name that night and grinning like he does.
We are so happy to call ourselves one, and so excited to begin our years as a family when the little on arrives. 🥰