I am not thoroughly convinced I should admit to this, but it was a post I was inspired to write due to recent, and not-so-recent events coming closer to what I dream of. So here goes.
Once upon a time… when I was in my mid-teens, I stumbled upon the idea of manifesting your intentions. The story of how I found and understood this phenomenon is rather inconsequential – a holiday abroad (one of only two I’ve ever had and both to the same place), a family friend describes ‘manifesting’ a parking space, and a rough stumbling across The Secret by Rhonda Byrne online.
Since watching the… somewhat… ‘fascinating’ movie on The Secret, I tried my hand at manifesting what I wanted at the time, with what I can recall as little success.
Fast forward several years and I tried again, this time without constant visualisation, avoiding opposite thoughts and a whole lot of scrapbooking (seriously, think mood boards but for manifesting stuff). This time I decided to try a sort of prayer.
And ‘pray’ I did. I recall speaking aloud, writing the symbol of my intent to ‘pray’, which for me is the power symbol of a pentagram on my palm, and simply talking as though talking to some angels, or spirits, or the universe, or, as I said it, “anyone who will listen”.
I don’t actually believe anyone does listen. Except maybe the universe itself, if such a thing could listen. It simply solidifies my desire in my own mind, helping me to speak aloud my thoughts.
In my first attempt I was incredibly skeptical and never actually meant to start something I’d continue doing. I don’t recall if I ever got my wish that time. I continued to use it for manifesting the bus when I waited for it for work when it was late, or hope for a spontaneous day off due to ice or snow some mornings, nothing more than little things that weren’t particularly serious. I didn’t know if it worked, but crucially, it made me feel better.
I’ve been thinking back on the variety of requests I’ve made to the universe over the time I’ve been doing it. A lot of buses have come and gone, and nothing crazy has been manifested. But then again, I distinctly remember one night… period in full flow and hormones on overdrive, crying for no particular reason over the fact that I couldn’t imagine myself ever finding anyone to fall in love with. Tinder had failed me again, as I had flaked out on meeting someone or they’d ghosted me, and I was desperately upset.
I just couldn’t see how I was going to love one person, when so many caught my eye. I didn’t have queues of anyone wanting me, but I just couldn’t see how even if they did, I would be able to love only one and be perfectly satisfied. Because I fell in and out of love with movie characters, book characters, actors, singers, tinder guys, and the pretty man I passed once in town, all the time!
What a strange thing to cry about – I can’t imagine why people think hormones make you crazy, can you!?
Now, as anyone who has read my blog or knows me understands, I am most definitely deeply in love right now. And I’m not looking at other people, and haven’t needed to, since finding my partner J. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now, and through trauma and now pregnancy (which I think I recall also manifesting having children with J), he’s everything I wished for in that desperate, hormonal tear-filled plea.
Just yesterday, we received the news that we are indeed on the council housing list – something I also asked for in a simple plea out loud. And I’m contemplating my next move, asking for a house to become available for us!
Because maybe, it did work. Maybe, manifesting is a thing.
Or maybe, it makes me feel so much better to know my request, plea, prayer or whatever you want to call it, is out there.
Either way, I’m letting you all know that I am a crazy person who does this. And secondly, if you’re desperate, worried, and have a deep desire for something to happen that you have little control over, maybe it will help you too to ask for it aloud too.
It may not work, but what’s the harm in trying?